When the answer is “No”

It’s never easy to be rejected, to have someone turn away from us, to have our project denied or to endure a break-up. For most of us, we assume it’s a personal rejection of ourselves. Our greatest desire may be to crawl under a rock, or to get defensive, or to refuse to share our gifts. It is a challenge to continue to reveal ourselves and our talents with a world that does not always welcome vulnerability.

There is a gift in rejection, however. I will never be thankful for it, but to endure it and come out on the other side means to understand oneself more deeply. When the answer is “no,” we are forced to retreat internally and soul search for that which defines us at our core. We are forced to ask ourselves questions that reveal for us who we were created to be. With that understanding, we have the strength and stability to withstand all the yeses and no’s without losing who we are.

Rabbi Steve Leder says, “If you have to go through hell, don’t come out empty-handed.”

Oftentimes the sting of rejection feels like hell, but the beauty on the other side is the self-assurance that we stand strong in our own self-understanding.

Be gentle, my friends.